A few days ago I was at the gym doing cardio, and on the far television to the left a headline caught my attention. The story on TV was about a road rage that ended with someone getting murdered. Thank God I don’t watch the news anymore, but that will be another article. I had a thought of “Damn. That used to be me,” and a weird sensation went through my body. Yes, years ago I used to get into road rage and altercations. No. I never murdered anyone.

Angry businessman

Looking back on this, there were several reasons I did this kind of thing. I had a lot of anger inside, and growing up I witnessed my father having road rage and getting in physical confrontations.  So as an adult, I emulated his behavior. And I always felt I had to always prove how tough I was as a “man”.

Some of this behavior I learned through the conditioning and programming from my past. And through television and movies, where I observed that “real men” beat up and kill people. It was in my comfort zone. It was my normal.

Looking back on this time in my life, the strangest part of the whole experience was that while I was having road rage, I was posting peace and anti-war stuff on Facebook. Think about that! I’m some kind of angry, cuz I’m running around getting pissed at anyone that does something wrong in traffic, but I’m posting peace stuff on Facebook. That gives me a big belly laugh now. I am extremely grateful that I took to heart and actively practice one of my favorite quotes by a Hero.

Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”

Mahatma Gandhi

When I drive now, my wife tells me I drive like an old man. Music to my ears! I love driving in peace, instead of the hell I used to be in with my own thoughts and thinking.

My friend, if there’s anything in your life causing you anger and frustration, it’s time to look inside to see what’s causing it. Heroes that have aspired to change for their higher good know the world doesn’t change—we change. Meaning we change the lens (our mind) we view the world with. I used to believe it was all the other drivers’ fault, when it was me and how I perceived the world.

About a year ago, my wife was a victim of road rage. A male driver at a red light punched my wife in the head. I am extremely grateful to tell you that the only thing that was hurt was her feelings, and this situation could have been a lot worse. After a week long search by the police, the man was found and was sentenced to jail. I am very grateful for my reaction when my wife called and told me what had happened. I was stunned, shocked and had a lot of concern for my wife’s wellbeing and had some initial anger, but that went away quickly and I started having compassion for the perpetrator and what he must have gone through in life. I have appreciation in my heart that through grace I didn’t want to get revenge and take care of things myself like I would have wanted to years ago.

This quote by another Hero says it all:

“Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction.”

Martin Luther King Jr


Do you have anger inside and think it’s the world?

Are you emulating behavior you learned has a child?

Did you learn unloving and disempowering behaviors from society?

Did you learn how to be a “man” through the media?


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